brittany nicole
maybe they’ll say I'm the girl gone mad or that I'm the human form of a tornado, but that's not because I've spun through life trying to find meaning. It's because I've always known it and that I have simply dedicated my existence to making the universe rhyme. to giving the planet a blanket to sleep with.. lightly. a soft tissue to drip its drops onto. a rigged existence to connect to, to reach. this. this all right here is everything I am. this is as human as it gets...
Heart Baked Poet
Heart Baked Poet
malibu
her body was built for the beach,
a hidden little island thing,
her soul starving for adventure
& a little vacay fling.
a soul that's always on vacation,
a tidal wave of unchained chaos,
a rolling stone never far from water,
ready for the trouble she's about to cause.
she was chasing a fantasy,
from Peach City to the Purple Tacoma,
searching for a lifetime of rooftop sunsets
all the way to Malibu, California.
she's here to feel something again,
to shoot the fireworks outta the sky,
to leave her mark on the island walls...
bulls eye.
'do not disturb' written all over her face,
a femme fatale dynamic,
sipping Patron on the beach's shore,
topless in a hammock.
she found herself in Malibu,
now those old days feel like a lifetime ago,
her soul was born for the beach,
found on the shore,
a mermaid escapist's forever home.
brittany nicole
a hidden little island thing,
her soul starving for adventure
& a little vacay fling.
a soul that's always on vacation,
a tidal wave of unchained chaos,
a rolling stone never far from water,
ready for the trouble she's about to cause.
she was chasing a fantasy,
from Peach City to the Purple Tacoma,
searching for a lifetime of rooftop sunsets
all the way to Malibu, California.
she's here to feel something again,
to shoot the fireworks outta the sky,
to leave her mark on the island walls...
bulls eye.
'do not disturb' written all over her face,
a femme fatale dynamic,
sipping Patron on the beach's shore,
topless in a hammock.
she found herself in Malibu,
now those old days feel like a lifetime ago,
her soul was born for the beach,
found on the shore,
a mermaid escapist's forever home.
brittany nicole
rolling stone
some women are born with danger in their soul,
a thirsty ache for something to burn,
a little town to rip apart at the seams
and never..
ever return.
now I'm on the run,
on the hunt for a piece of sky that lets me breathe,
an ocean to wrap my body in,
sunsets that look like burnt sour cherries.
he wanted someone who tasted like obedience,
& I'm sorry love but I'm a rolling stone,
I taste like burning buildings,
like revolution,
like high voltage radios.
all things change over night,
but California will always feel the same,
I'm here to forget the days I didn't want to be alive,
to love the side of me nobody could tame.
don't come searching,
I'll be lost somewhere having coffee with the stars,
diving off cliffs for a taste of life,
driving through Greece in fast cars.
maybe one day we'll find our way back,
next time I have too much wine
& reach for the phone,
but for now I'm still on the run...
forever a rolling stone.
brittany nicole
a thirsty ache for something to burn,
a little town to rip apart at the seams
and never..
ever return.
now I'm on the run,
on the hunt for a piece of sky that lets me breathe,
an ocean to wrap my body in,
sunsets that look like burnt sour cherries.
he wanted someone who tasted like obedience,
& I'm sorry love but I'm a rolling stone,
I taste like burning buildings,
like revolution,
like high voltage radios.
all things change over night,
but California will always feel the same,
I'm here to forget the days I didn't want to be alive,
to love the side of me nobody could tame.
don't come searching,
I'll be lost somewhere having coffee with the stars,
diving off cliffs for a taste of life,
driving through Greece in fast cars.
maybe one day we'll find our way back,
next time I have too much wine
& reach for the phone,
but for now I'm still on the run...
forever a rolling stone.
brittany nicole
last note
came home after my forever lasting 9-5
dying to read you what I wrote..
little did I know I would come home to
an empty closet & a little folded note.
I feared this day since we were kids,
I always knew the day would come,
when I'd get home from work
and this time.. you'd be gone.
your tea cups are still in the cupboard,
your sweaters still on the chair,
your towel is drying on a hook,
& I can smell your perfume in the air.
I can feel my heart shatter
as I reach to read your last note,
I've got nothing left to lose,
without you I'm but an empty ghost.
"my love, I'm so sorry it had to end like this,
I'm sorry for what I'm about to do,
please just know...
I'm not running away because of you.
I know you'll never forgive me,
I can't imagine how badly I'm breaking your heart,
I just need out of this life,
I need a new start.
I was going to wait & say goodbye,
pacing back and forth all day,
I had a shower to wash away the tears,
and packed the rest of my bags.
I hope you'll find peace in knowing I'm
writing my book or singing our songs
somewhere on a boat,
and I hope you'll always feel close to me
when you read yourself
my last note."
brittany nicole
dying to read you what I wrote..
little did I know I would come home to
an empty closet & a little folded note.
I feared this day since we were kids,
I always knew the day would come,
when I'd get home from work
and this time.. you'd be gone.
your tea cups are still in the cupboard,
your sweaters still on the chair,
your towel is drying on a hook,
& I can smell your perfume in the air.
I can feel my heart shatter
as I reach to read your last note,
I've got nothing left to lose,
without you I'm but an empty ghost.
"my love, I'm so sorry it had to end like this,
I'm sorry for what I'm about to do,
please just know...
I'm not running away because of you.
I know you'll never forgive me,
I can't imagine how badly I'm breaking your heart,
I just need out of this life,
I need a new start.
I was going to wait & say goodbye,
pacing back and forth all day,
I had a shower to wash away the tears,
and packed the rest of my bags.
I hope you'll find peace in knowing I'm
writing my book or singing our songs
somewhere on a boat,
and I hope you'll always feel close to me
when you read yourself
my last note."
brittany nicole
the girl who packed her bags
It took one last fight
and she finally snapped,
she ran home to pack her bags
and this time she
wasn't coming back.
she almost lost her mind,
this tiny town was finally coming to an end,
she kissed her love goodbye
and wrote a letter to her best friend.
she dug through her sweaters and
collected her favorite books,
she was so tired of hurting
and one ticket outta here
is all it took.
she always had a suitcase nearby,
just to have for a day of rain,
she wasn't the girl who cried wolf,
she was the girl who cried airplane.
she told them "I just need to leave,
I need to breathe new air,
my soul is hidden somewhere on this planet
and I'm not coming back once I know where."
she didn't live an extraordinary life,
she wasn't the girl who touched the clouds of day,
she was just a girl who dreamed of writing a book
and running somewhere far away.
"I can't move my soul here,
I'm always gonna feel locked in a cage,
so this time I'm leaving...
I'm finally packing my bags."
brittany nicole
and she finally snapped,
she ran home to pack her bags
and this time she
wasn't coming back.
she almost lost her mind,
this tiny town was finally coming to an end,
she kissed her love goodbye
and wrote a letter to her best friend.
she dug through her sweaters and
collected her favorite books,
she was so tired of hurting
and one ticket outta here
is all it took.
she always had a suitcase nearby,
just to have for a day of rain,
she wasn't the girl who cried wolf,
she was the girl who cried airplane.
she told them "I just need to leave,
I need to breathe new air,
my soul is hidden somewhere on this planet
and I'm not coming back once I know where."
she didn't live an extraordinary life,
she wasn't the girl who touched the clouds of day,
she was just a girl who dreamed of writing a book
and running somewhere far away.
"I can't move my soul here,
I'm always gonna feel locked in a cage,
so this time I'm leaving...
I'm finally packing my bags."
brittany nicole
self love
do you know what it takes...
rips** out of your soul..
to love yourself?
what it's like to look into the hair-sprayed mirror,
no longer feeling a pulse,
feeling like a stray in your soul,
a hollowed home for something else.
I wasn't always this empty,
he once told me I was "so easy to love",
sweet and soothing as it sounded,
there was still this darkness he just
hadn't seen enough of.
I needed to sit down and listen,
I had to take my own advice,
had to know if I could ever
fall back in love with myself, with life.
I had to know...
what was this thing in me that I was
fighting for dear life to let go of?
If there were no scars, no nightmares, no blood,
would there be anything left of me to love?
I'm so fucking hopeless and yes.. I know this,
but all the darkness is what built me as a poet,
and without this pain
I just wouldn't have a purpose.
now I'm here to bare my soul,
to wear this ache that I speak of,
living for the broken and damaged,
to sing you all my war cry of
self love.
brittany nicole
rips** out of your soul..
to love yourself?
what it's like to look into the hair-sprayed mirror,
no longer feeling a pulse,
feeling like a stray in your soul,
a hollowed home for something else.
I wasn't always this empty,
he once told me I was "so easy to love",
sweet and soothing as it sounded,
there was still this darkness he just
hadn't seen enough of.
I needed to sit down and listen,
I had to take my own advice,
had to know if I could ever
fall back in love with myself, with life.
I had to know...
what was this thing in me that I was
fighting for dear life to let go of?
If there were no scars, no nightmares, no blood,
would there be anything left of me to love?
I'm so fucking hopeless and yes.. I know this,
but all the darkness is what built me as a poet,
and without this pain
I just wouldn't have a purpose.
now I'm here to bare my soul,
to wear this ache that I speak of,
living for the broken and damaged,
to sing you all my war cry of
self love.
brittany nicole
my fire
I hide alone,
writing my poems and building my walls,
building my empire,
a hundred feet tall.
don't try to break in,
built these walls strong to keep you out,
all you people do is talk
and privacy is what I'm all about.
I was blind once,
I let somebody in,
didn't know what I was gettin' into,
kicked em out again.
you just drain my energy,
can't build it back up with your shit,
my walls are feeling shaky
and I'm slowly runnin' outta bricks.
I gotta stay built,
have to hide from all the liars,
& the next time one of em' jumps my walls,
he'll be burning in my fire.
so take all your cold feet,
all the hearts you break on purpose,
and the next time you cross me
I'll burn you to dust in my basements furnace.
you think breaking hearts is fun?
running around terrorizing women
& not caring about the damage you've done?
well just let me warn you...
you've finally met the one.
you better run and hide,
cause oh dear, you've finally done it,
and don't think for a minute
that I won't burn this fucking house down,
with you in it.
brittany nicole
writing my poems and building my walls,
building my empire,
a hundred feet tall.
don't try to break in,
built these walls strong to keep you out,
all you people do is talk
and privacy is what I'm all about.
I was blind once,
I let somebody in,
didn't know what I was gettin' into,
kicked em out again.
you just drain my energy,
can't build it back up with your shit,
my walls are feeling shaky
and I'm slowly runnin' outta bricks.
I gotta stay built,
have to hide from all the liars,
& the next time one of em' jumps my walls,
he'll be burning in my fire.
so take all your cold feet,
all the hearts you break on purpose,
and the next time you cross me
I'll burn you to dust in my basements furnace.
you think breaking hearts is fun?
running around terrorizing women
& not caring about the damage you've done?
well just let me warn you...
you've finally met the one.
you better run and hide,
cause oh dear, you've finally done it,
and don't think for a minute
that I won't burn this fucking house down,
with you in it.
brittany nicole
adrift
and that's when it happened.
so.. blank.
so fast.
off the rocks,
through the glass.
colliding with the ocean,
the inevitable crash.
sinking on the surface,
trapped inside a cage,
the calm after the storm,
a catastrophic hurricane.
laying on the edge,
adrift at sea,
determined to save herself
but water is all she can breathe.
a lost girl, afloat,
a never ending search for a face,
for land,
a boat.
someone please find me,
I'm left behind from the wreckage,
send me a saviour,
a voice from above,
a rite of passage.
there it was..
an origami bird, floating in ruins, tattered.
survived the crash,
lost with my shoes and books,
everything.
scattered.
you see,
I was never meant to be a mermaid,
I was always born a bird,
I was meant to survive disaster and
God knew I would.
the end drew near,
then I remembered the
origami bird stands for hope,
that's when I layed on my back,
prayed to God,
and began to float...
adrift.
brittany nicole
so.. blank.
so fast.
off the rocks,
through the glass.
colliding with the ocean,
the inevitable crash.
sinking on the surface,
trapped inside a cage,
the calm after the storm,
a catastrophic hurricane.
laying on the edge,
adrift at sea,
determined to save herself
but water is all she can breathe.
a lost girl, afloat,
a never ending search for a face,
for land,
a boat.
someone please find me,
I'm left behind from the wreckage,
send me a saviour,
a voice from above,
a rite of passage.
there it was..
an origami bird, floating in ruins, tattered.
survived the crash,
lost with my shoes and books,
everything.
scattered.
you see,
I was never meant to be a mermaid,
I was always born a bird,
I was meant to survive disaster and
God knew I would.
the end drew near,
then I remembered the
origami bird stands for hope,
that's when I layed on my back,
prayed to God,
and began to float...
adrift.
brittany nicole
home town
The Eiffel Tower, Great Wall, Colosseum in Rome,
the hearts of the earth
that make the world worth exploring,
but now...
I'm coming home.
my old bedroom is still purple,
me and my old friends still sitting in a frame,
although it's good to be back home,
nothing feels the same.
my old Corvette in the drive,
gonna visit my favorite coffee shop,
everyone coming up to me,
it's like I suddenly forget how to talk.
It's like I'm wearing a mask,
walking around like a stranger in this town,
been on the road for too long,
feeling stalked by all these
memories following me around.
I'm gone for one year,
suddenly I'm someone I don't recognize,
even my home town doesn't know me
and I've been living here my whole life.
I bought my ticket outta here,
but then I was chased down by someone
who wanted me to stay,
he took my map and folded it into an airplane
so it couldn't take me away.
I wanna escape all over again,
so this time I'll take you with me,
you don't know what you're missing when
this little town is all you ever see.
wave goodbye to this town, this life,
we've all changed and grown,
let's go travel the world,
make it ours,
and call it
"home".
brittany nicole
the hearts of the earth
that make the world worth exploring,
but now...
I'm coming home.
my old bedroom is still purple,
me and my old friends still sitting in a frame,
although it's good to be back home,
nothing feels the same.
my old Corvette in the drive,
gonna visit my favorite coffee shop,
everyone coming up to me,
it's like I suddenly forget how to talk.
It's like I'm wearing a mask,
walking around like a stranger in this town,
been on the road for too long,
feeling stalked by all these
memories following me around.
I'm gone for one year,
suddenly I'm someone I don't recognize,
even my home town doesn't know me
and I've been living here my whole life.
I bought my ticket outta here,
but then I was chased down by someone
who wanted me to stay,
he took my map and folded it into an airplane
so it couldn't take me away.
I wanna escape all over again,
so this time I'll take you with me,
you don't know what you're missing when
this little town is all you ever see.
wave goodbye to this town, this life,
we've all changed and grown,
let's go travel the world,
make it ours,
and call it
"home".
brittany nicole
trust issues
she stays steady in her lane,
she's never in the mix of shit,
even when she's afraid to be alone,
she'd never fucking admit it.
she's seen the same old, same old,
she's lived that life before,
driven down that road,
the view out that back door.
she lost her ability to feel,
that deep twist in her gut when she loves,
even after seven shots of tequila,
that spin,
that buzz,
no fucking love.
she doesn't want love,
that shit's a total waste,
I promise she never even trusted
you in the first place.
don't question her tactics
cause she knows what she's doin,
she's not sad and lonely,
she's glowin',
improvin'.
do not cross her,
she learned her lesson with you,
and the only one she trusts now is
her trust issues.
brittany nicole
she's never in the mix of shit,
even when she's afraid to be alone,
she'd never fucking admit it.
she's seen the same old, same old,
she's lived that life before,
driven down that road,
the view out that back door.
she lost her ability to feel,
that deep twist in her gut when she loves,
even after seven shots of tequila,
that spin,
that buzz,
no fucking love.
she doesn't want love,
that shit's a total waste,
I promise she never even trusted
you in the first place.
don't question her tactics
cause she knows what she's doin,
she's not sad and lonely,
she's glowin',
improvin'.
do not cross her,
she learned her lesson with you,
and the only one she trusts now is
her trust issues.
brittany nicole
fuck friends
God grant me the serenity to accept the..
nah fuck that prayer,
I'm on my knees crying into my palms,
praying to a God that doesn't even care.
I used to just call up a friend
but they all secret haters,
they all shown me why
loneliness is so much safer.
I turned all the clocks upside down
and made time for myself,
fuck having friends,
I'd rather have my
mental health.
never once did I throw dirt,
must've been in fool's paradise
where that sneaky devil taught me
to never let a snake bite you twice.
I'm surrounded by a blur,
a crowd of heartless robots,
but I'm a fucking she-wolf
and wolves don't play with mutts.
maybe I'm just anti-social,
they're all gonna talk shit anyway,
I'd rather ride solo & love myself,
be that bitch who
says what she wants to say.
I glowed the fuck up,
now they question how they lost me,
had to make it fuckin hard
for them to forget me.
It might be sad that they
won't miss me till I'm gone,
but I'll have no idea cause
I'll be too busy movin on.
tonight I'll say another prayer,
God keep me safe from my enemies,
tomorrow I'll lose more friends..
and that... will be my serenity.
brittany nicole
nah fuck that prayer,
I'm on my knees crying into my palms,
praying to a God that doesn't even care.
I used to just call up a friend
but they all secret haters,
they all shown me why
loneliness is so much safer.
I turned all the clocks upside down
and made time for myself,
fuck having friends,
I'd rather have my
mental health.
never once did I throw dirt,
must've been in fool's paradise
where that sneaky devil taught me
to never let a snake bite you twice.
I'm surrounded by a blur,
a crowd of heartless robots,
but I'm a fucking she-wolf
and wolves don't play with mutts.
maybe I'm just anti-social,
they're all gonna talk shit anyway,
I'd rather ride solo & love myself,
be that bitch who
says what she wants to say.
I glowed the fuck up,
now they question how they lost me,
had to make it fuckin hard
for them to forget me.
It might be sad that they
won't miss me till I'm gone,
but I'll have no idea cause
I'll be too busy movin on.
tonight I'll say another prayer,
God keep me safe from my enemies,
tomorrow I'll lose more friends..
and that... will be my serenity.
brittany nicole
glass

Glass is many colors, or none at all. It is whatever you see. you either see yourself looking back, or you see right through to the other side. you cannot walk through glass but you can drive through it, punch through it and then kick it aside as if it won’t hurt you back. no one is thick glass all the way through, no, we are all too human not to have a little bit of silk. a little bit of concrete. a little bit of paper. I was born more glass than anything else. I don’t know how there is any left of me. they have driven through me, kicked me aside, oh God, way too many times. the whole world could be made of glass and they would still push me until I fall and shatter, and even with the earth in broken charreds I still wouldn’t matter. can glass be cold? you’re damn right it can. I crack in the warmth because it is too unfamiliar. but what they didn’t know about me, before I was unconsciously kicked aside, is that glass can be unbreakable. glass can be strong. glass can be fucking bulletproof. glass can be brittle but that’s not me. glass can shimmer translucently. glass can shake and shiver rapidly. It can disintegrate and disappear, but that will never be me. I’ll still be that beautiful coffee shop window or the circle protecting the tick tock on your wrist. I’ll still be standing tall when the rest of you are about to fall. and when the world comes to it’s final collapse, I will still be proud to be the girl made of glass.
brittany nicole
woke up
stuck in a haze,
I wasn't sleeping
but I wasn't awake,
in one moment I looked all around me
and realized everything
I had was fake.
the best friend behind my back,
the man who lied when he said
"till death do we part",
you start to notice these people
barely even love themselves,
nevermind your fragile heart.
so many empty days
and nights I swallowed painful cries,
times I'd be smiling on the outside but
holding tears back behind my eyes.
now I fall asleep reading books and
listening to beautiful songs,
reminding myself who I am and
the strong girl I've been all along.
I learned to be there for myself,
how to heal whenever my heart would break,
I learned life is so much clearer,
so much brighter when you're
actually awake.
It took a long time,
but I finally learned how to grow up,
I saved myself,
opened my eyes,
looked up...
and woke up.
brittany nicole
I wasn't sleeping
but I wasn't awake,
in one moment I looked all around me
and realized everything
I had was fake.
the best friend behind my back,
the man who lied when he said
"till death do we part",
you start to notice these people
barely even love themselves,
nevermind your fragile heart.
so many empty days
and nights I swallowed painful cries,
times I'd be smiling on the outside but
holding tears back behind my eyes.
now I fall asleep reading books and
listening to beautiful songs,
reminding myself who I am and
the strong girl I've been all along.
I learned to be there for myself,
how to heal whenever my heart would break,
I learned life is so much clearer,
so much brighter when you're
actually awake.
It took a long time,
but I finally learned how to grow up,
I saved myself,
opened my eyes,
looked up...
and woke up.
brittany nicole
story
she was just a girl who loved a boy
more than she loved herself,
when she wrote the story of her life,
he was the only one she
could write about.
her favourite bedtime book,
a story so sweet it could write itself,
one that remained in her pocket,
never stored away on a shelf.
after time the pages began to wilt,
the spine began to crack,
they lost each other in the fiction,
& he lost the girl he would never get back.
late night cries, broken hearts,
trust issues & regret,
she'd spend the next few years
burning up the pages & trying to forget.
then one day
she felt her words spill back out,
so she picked up a pen,
she remembered who she was
and she began to write again.
she was just a girl who loved a boy
who didn't love himself,
this time when she wrote the story of her life,
she left him out.
- the last time she'll write for him.
brittany nicole
for august
more than she loved herself,
when she wrote the story of her life,
he was the only one she
could write about.
her favourite bedtime book,
a story so sweet it could write itself,
one that remained in her pocket,
never stored away on a shelf.
after time the pages began to wilt,
the spine began to crack,
they lost each other in the fiction,
& he lost the girl he would never get back.
late night cries, broken hearts,
trust issues & regret,
she'd spend the next few years
burning up the pages & trying to forget.
then one day
she felt her words spill back out,
so she picked up a pen,
she remembered who she was
and she began to write again.
she was just a girl who loved a boy
who didn't love himself,
this time when she wrote the story of her life,
she left him out.
- the last time she'll write for him.
brittany nicole
for august
machine
who can see the screws falling from the sky?
how was I to know
anything else was as broken
as my own mind?
all these pretty hearts,
broken parts,
out of order.
night has come around
and I am still
under construction.
have you ever worked
empty machinery in the dark?
there's too many.. missing parts..
and I will still be broken in the morning.
no love anywhere to be felt,
just ticking metal cranks.
rusty loose gears where my soul once was,
the last little bit of love
I used to feel,
I was built into a tin girl,
feeling nothing but cold..
cold steel.
but there was something that
I saw...
a light.
a spark.
reflecting off the
excavator in the late dark.
I felt the universe
in my soul again.
underneath the
cracked magnets,
dusty chambers,
loose screws
and pieces that rattle...
there was more than a rusty tin girl,
I could see a strong woman,
a soldier trapped in battle.
my body may be a broken part
of the mad contraption in this in-between,
but my soul has escaped...
set free from this broken machine.
brittany nicole
how was I to know
anything else was as broken
as my own mind?
all these pretty hearts,
broken parts,
out of order.
night has come around
and I am still
under construction.
have you ever worked
empty machinery in the dark?
there's too many.. missing parts..
and I will still be broken in the morning.
no love anywhere to be felt,
just ticking metal cranks.
rusty loose gears where my soul once was,
the last little bit of love
I used to feel,
I was built into a tin girl,
feeling nothing but cold..
cold steel.
but there was something that
I saw...
a light.
a spark.
reflecting off the
excavator in the late dark.
I felt the universe
in my soul again.
underneath the
cracked magnets,
dusty chambers,
loose screws
and pieces that rattle...
there was more than a rusty tin girl,
I could see a strong woman,
a soldier trapped in battle.
my body may be a broken part
of the mad contraption in this in-between,
but my soul has escaped...
set free from this broken machine.
brittany nicole
paradise
sipping tequila on the shores of the Maldives,
gone forever & a day..
no one to remember me but
my first love and the good Lord.
I remember promising him to take
his love with me everywhere I go,
oh what an easy promise to keep.
I wonder if he knew I looked at him
the way I look at the waves...
and got swept away, every time.
a mermaid's grave.
but no one will ever understand
my undying desire to hide away.
spreading your wings
and mastering the art of disappearing.
sleeping under that midsummer moon,
kissed goodnight by the sun.
It's angelic.
pure bliss.
I'm all alone on this island and
I could touch the sky but still wouldn't
feel like this.
here, you make a wish and
a palm tree appears.
magic.
my love, if you're out there..
you know where to find me.
why don't you meet me one night
down on the shore,
we can sip tequila in the sand and see
if we can still make each other rhyme.
only two shadows for miles.
I have found paradise
for the beautiful & broken,
for souls like yours,
like mine.
when you're ready to come find me..
I'll be waiting for you
here...
in paradise.
brittany nicole
gone forever & a day..
no one to remember me but
my first love and the good Lord.
I remember promising him to take
his love with me everywhere I go,
oh what an easy promise to keep.
I wonder if he knew I looked at him
the way I look at the waves...
and got swept away, every time.
a mermaid's grave.
but no one will ever understand
my undying desire to hide away.
spreading your wings
and mastering the art of disappearing.
sleeping under that midsummer moon,
kissed goodnight by the sun.
It's angelic.
pure bliss.
I'm all alone on this island and
I could touch the sky but still wouldn't
feel like this.
here, you make a wish and
a palm tree appears.
magic.
my love, if you're out there..
you know where to find me.
why don't you meet me one night
down on the shore,
we can sip tequila in the sand and see
if we can still make each other rhyme.
only two shadows for miles.
I have found paradise
for the beautiful & broken,
for souls like yours,
like mine.
when you're ready to come find me..
I'll be waiting for you
here...
in paradise.
brittany nicole
butterfly
she was the girl with a heart full of sky,
a brave warrior,
a soul made of sunshine.
she taught herself to fall,
taught herself to fly,
the caterpillar...
the cocoon...
the butterfly.
she made it through it all,
she never let go without a fight,
what was just another
part of the ground
is now soaring through the open sky.
she broke open her shell,
let the world see the
beauty beneath,
how there is so much more to her life than
just hiding up in a tree.
now she can see her purpose,
all the beauty that's come out of this,
the fall...
the fly...
the metamorphosis.
brittany nicole
a brave warrior,
a soul made of sunshine.
she taught herself to fall,
taught herself to fly,
the caterpillar...
the cocoon...
the butterfly.
she made it through it all,
she never let go without a fight,
what was just another
part of the ground
is now soaring through the open sky.
she broke open her shell,
let the world see the
beauty beneath,
how there is so much more to her life than
just hiding up in a tree.
now she can see her purpose,
all the beauty that's come out of this,
the fall...
the fly...
the metamorphosis.
brittany nicole
last diamond
buried 100 miles into the earth
3 billion years ago...
the last diamond was born.
formed slowly over time,
out of carbon and battle.
deep under the sand,
at the bottom of the ocean.
born into a life of constant pain,
a forever lasting pressure
to be flawless.
but this one...
was not made from a machine.
this one...
did not come from a laboratory.
she was made for love.
out of.. love.
I knew they would miss this one
once she was no longer on earth.
once she was no longer
anywhere to be found.
digging your hands around in
box after box,
from cubic zirconia
to moissanite,
stone after stone.
breaking into house after house
searching for the very diamond
you sold for no more than
fools gold.
you blind, Godless souls,
you can tear this planet apart,
but you will never find another.
she...
was the last one.
brittany nicole
3 billion years ago...
the last diamond was born.
formed slowly over time,
out of carbon and battle.
deep under the sand,
at the bottom of the ocean.
born into a life of constant pain,
a forever lasting pressure
to be flawless.
but this one...
was not made from a machine.
this one...
did not come from a laboratory.
she was made for love.
out of.. love.
I knew they would miss this one
once she was no longer on earth.
once she was no longer
anywhere to be found.
digging your hands around in
box after box,
from cubic zirconia
to moissanite,
stone after stone.
breaking into house after house
searching for the very diamond
you sold for no more than
fools gold.
you blind, Godless souls,
you can tear this planet apart,
but you will never find another.
she...
was the last one.
brittany nicole
free
I'm always gonna wanna run,
I'm always gonna wanna hide,
that's when I escape to the beach,
pour my heart out to the tide.
spy my little eye out to all
the sailboats,
so wide & free,
grasp sand in my hand
and think..
"why can't that be me?"
In the silence of the shore,
I hear the roam of an airplane
up above,
going nowhere & everywhere,
that's the kind of freedom
I would never get enough of.
maybe I wasn't the girl who was
born to stay in one place,
I was made for dark caves,
palm tree islands,
purple galaxies in outer space.
I don't need to know where I'm going,
my heart is shaped like an old road map,
and there's a little
red pin on my hometown
in case I ever wanna come back.
I know I'll always have my home,
my tea cups & a safe place to sleep,
but I need a place in this world
to call my own,
a place that finally lets me be
free.
brittany nicole
I'm always gonna wanna hide,
that's when I escape to the beach,
pour my heart out to the tide.
spy my little eye out to all
the sailboats,
so wide & free,
grasp sand in my hand
and think..
"why can't that be me?"
In the silence of the shore,
I hear the roam of an airplane
up above,
going nowhere & everywhere,
that's the kind of freedom
I would never get enough of.
maybe I wasn't the girl who was
born to stay in one place,
I was made for dark caves,
palm tree islands,
purple galaxies in outer space.
I don't need to know where I'm going,
my heart is shaped like an old road map,
and there's a little
red pin on my hometown
in case I ever wanna come back.
I know I'll always have my home,
my tea cups & a safe place to sleep,
but I need a place in this world
to call my own,
a place that finally lets me be
free.
brittany nicole
burning down
oh, what I wouldn't do to get out
of this god forsaken town,
all these empty souls
aimlessly walking around,
I'd stand on the tallest house,
light a match...
and burn it to the ground.
take everyone they love
and watch them burn down,
sing along to the screaming cries
I hear in the background.
I'll burn everything in sight,
anything to bring this place down,
I've dreamed of leaving this prison
you people call a hometown.
I'll burn it all down,
stand there smiling while I
watch it crumble to the ground,
soon enough, I won't be around.
don't worry,
what goes around comes back around,
won't be long before I breakdown,
but for now, I'm leaving town,
I'll be hiding underground,
stroking my crown,
until I'm found...
and burned down.
brittany nicole
of this god forsaken town,
all these empty souls
aimlessly walking around,
I'd stand on the tallest house,
light a match...
and burn it to the ground.
take everyone they love
and watch them burn down,
sing along to the screaming cries
I hear in the background.
I'll burn everything in sight,
anything to bring this place down,
I've dreamed of leaving this prison
you people call a hometown.
I'll burn it all down,
stand there smiling while I
watch it crumble to the ground,
soon enough, I won't be around.
don't worry,
what goes around comes back around,
won't be long before I breakdown,
but for now, I'm leaving town,
I'll be hiding underground,
stroking my crown,
until I'm found...
and burned down.
brittany nicole
edit
he was always tryna fix me,
change me,
clear out my history.
oh dear boy,
you can't backspace my past,
it's still my story,
right now it's just the
rough draft.
I'm writing this for me,
this.. story..
revised,
this is for the girl I used to be,
the old me,
.. eulogised.
I will be far from perfect,
always gonna be..
incomplete,
just need a few changes,
a poet's finishing touches,
until the final piece.
I am the main topic
of the novel that is me,
12 chapters of self love,
and everything this poet
can amount to be.
so stroke the spine softly,
turn the pages quick,
all the outlines & curves,
chapter 6 includes
my blue prints
& heart twisting words.
I am just a girl,
a masterpiece
& work in progress,
a natural born writer,
author of my story
a poetry princess.
brittany nicole
change me,
clear out my history.
oh dear boy,
you can't backspace my past,
it's still my story,
right now it's just the
rough draft.
I'm writing this for me,
this.. story..
revised,
this is for the girl I used to be,
the old me,
.. eulogised.
I will be far from perfect,
always gonna be..
incomplete,
just need a few changes,
a poet's finishing touches,
until the final piece.
I am the main topic
of the novel that is me,
12 chapters of self love,
and everything this poet
can amount to be.
so stroke the spine softly,
turn the pages quick,
all the outlines & curves,
chapter 6 includes
my blue prints
& heart twisting words.
I am just a girl,
a masterpiece
& work in progress,
a natural born writer,
author of my story
a poetry princess.
brittany nicole
dad
Hi Dad.
Dad..
Stranger.**
I know we haven't spoken in a while,
not since I was a teenager.
I've picked up the phone a few times,
but then I remember..
It's been 23 years and
we don't even know each other.
It's been 16 years since I last seen you..
since you & Mom..
Mom..
Survivor**
were together.
although it doesn't seem long ago,
I know it's been forever,
which is why I am here today..
writing you this letter.
to let you know that without
you as a father,
my life is so much better.
I still have Mom's hazel eyes,
a heart like hers, strong & tender,
but I was born with your soul..
your clenched fists & temper.
I've had these bruises on my heart for as
long as I can remember,
but every single year they
get fainter & fainter.
I hope you get this letter soon
so every word hits you harder & harder,
and if you ever write me back
address it to
Daughter..
Daughter..
Stranger.**
brittany nicole
Dad..
Stranger.**
I know we haven't spoken in a while,
not since I was a teenager.
I've picked up the phone a few times,
but then I remember..
It's been 23 years and
we don't even know each other.
It's been 16 years since I last seen you..
since you & Mom..
Mom..
Survivor**
were together.
although it doesn't seem long ago,
I know it's been forever,
which is why I am here today..
writing you this letter.
to let you know that without
you as a father,
my life is so much better.
I still have Mom's hazel eyes,
a heart like hers, strong & tender,
but I was born with your soul..
your clenched fists & temper.
I've had these bruises on my heart for as
long as I can remember,
but every single year they
get fainter & fainter.
I hope you get this letter soon
so every word hits you harder & harder,
and if you ever write me back
address it to
Daughter..
Daughter..
Stranger.**
brittany nicole
growing pains
I've grown apart from missing you,
my heart has shifted a lot these days,
although I sleep better at night,
I still can't fight these growing pains.
I have found myself all over again,
just been exploring, learning new things,
finding different shades of love,
been beautiful having new feelings.
I left you where I found you,
now we're finally moved on to new lives,
and although I glance back at the past,
I'm not getting stuck there this time.
I'm happy living for myself
because now I can finally see..
the key to my heart always
looked prettier on me,
even though you wore it for years,
you never really wanted it to keep.
now I protect myself,
give no trust, zero fucks,
ignore every guy that tries to hit me up,
so focused on my own plan, glow up.
now these growing pains no longer feel the same,
what I thought was loneliness
was actually me beating my own game,
what I thought was losing myself,
was me getting my heart back,
-reclaimed.
so maybe I was too much for you,
and maybe you weren't enough for me,
restless nights & growing pains
are what it took for me to finally see.
that's all I needed to know,
and all I want to do now is
goal, glow, grow.
brittany nicole
my heart has shifted a lot these days,
although I sleep better at night,
I still can't fight these growing pains.
I have found myself all over again,
just been exploring, learning new things,
finding different shades of love,
been beautiful having new feelings.
I left you where I found you,
now we're finally moved on to new lives,
and although I glance back at the past,
I'm not getting stuck there this time.
I'm happy living for myself
because now I can finally see..
the key to my heart always
looked prettier on me,
even though you wore it for years,
you never really wanted it to keep.
now I protect myself,
give no trust, zero fucks,
ignore every guy that tries to hit me up,
so focused on my own plan, glow up.
now these growing pains no longer feel the same,
what I thought was loneliness
was actually me beating my own game,
what I thought was losing myself,
was me getting my heart back,
-reclaimed.
so maybe I was too much for you,
and maybe you weren't enough for me,
restless nights & growing pains
are what it took for me to finally see.
that's all I needed to know,
and all I want to do now is
goal, glow, grow.
brittany nicole
the broken hearted
singing through the day,
drinking wine and
writing about the good life,
shooting vodka late by 10 just to
get her through the night.
deep down she misses being loved
but she doesn't miss the fights,
she loves having her freedom
but can't stand the sleepless nights,
missing something warm
and feeling nothing but ice,
being told she's mean & heartless
but just wanting to be nice.
thinking she's better off all alone
but not being sure if she's right,
being strong & independent
but wanting to be held tight..
told "everything will be alright".
before she had her heart broken
she was a beautiful talented artist,
she fell in love with poetry and
walked into a different shade of darkness,
what was once gold hearted
is now a sharp cold stone, hardened,
a sacred garden of flowers
is now surrounded by walls, guarded.
now believe me when I tell you that's
not how her story started,
but this poem wouldn't be written if she
was never one of
the broken hearted.
brittany nicole
drinking wine and
writing about the good life,
shooting vodka late by 10 just to
get her through the night.
deep down she misses being loved
but she doesn't miss the fights,
she loves having her freedom
but can't stand the sleepless nights,
missing something warm
and feeling nothing but ice,
being told she's mean & heartless
but just wanting to be nice.
thinking she's better off all alone
but not being sure if she's right,
being strong & independent
but wanting to be held tight..
told "everything will be alright".
before she had her heart broken
she was a beautiful talented artist,
she fell in love with poetry and
walked into a different shade of darkness,
what was once gold hearted
is now a sharp cold stone, hardened,
a sacred garden of flowers
is now surrounded by walls, guarded.
now believe me when I tell you that's
not how her story started,
but this poem wouldn't be written if she
was never one of
the broken hearted.
brittany nicole
bed of roses
you bring out the
side of me I never show,
the bad side of my heart
that nobody's ever known.
even though I'm no good for you..
you still won't let me go.
now close those eyes for a moment
and tell me..
do you ever feel the heat
under the covers..
and pretend that it's me?
you dropped my loyal heart
and picked up the bottle instead,
started swipin' on your phone,
bringin' regrets into our bed.
now I sleep with roses
and a smoke cloud over my head,
and when you crave me late at night,
all you see is the colour
red.
brittany nicole
side of me I never show,
the bad side of my heart
that nobody's ever known.
even though I'm no good for you..
you still won't let me go.
now close those eyes for a moment
and tell me..
do you ever feel the heat
under the covers..
and pretend that it's me?
you dropped my loyal heart
and picked up the bottle instead,
started swipin' on your phone,
bringin' regrets into our bed.
now I sleep with roses
and a smoke cloud over my head,
and when you crave me late at night,
all you see is the colour
red.
brittany nicole
day 123
haven't been myself lately,
can't seem to find exactly what's wrong,
I think it's got somethin' to do with you..
how I'm still holding on.
days passing me by,
with you still in the back of my mind,
telling myself we're both doing fine,
still missing you after all this time.
as time ticks on,
day 29, 30, 31,
I still think of all the memories and
all the love that's gone.
day 77, 78, 79,
hoping one day I won't
think of you as much,
maybe only from time to time.
but I want you to know
I still pray for you,
and hope that maybe some days..
you might think of me too.
I know there will come a day
when your just a memory faded away,
so tonight at 12:00
I'll start counting down another
123 days.
brittany nicole
can't seem to find exactly what's wrong,
I think it's got somethin' to do with you..
how I'm still holding on.
days passing me by,
with you still in the back of my mind,
telling myself we're both doing fine,
still missing you after all this time.
as time ticks on,
day 29, 30, 31,
I still think of all the memories and
all the love that's gone.
day 77, 78, 79,
hoping one day I won't
think of you as much,
maybe only from time to time.
but I want you to know
I still pray for you,
and hope that maybe some days..
you might think of me too.
I know there will come a day
when your just a memory faded away,
so tonight at 12:00
I'll start counting down another
123 days.
brittany nicole
amsterdam ii
people say you can't actually
fall in love with places
but I beleive that isn't true,
even though I'm not there right now,
I'm still head over heals for the veiw.
I can feel the light warm winds,
I can hear the dutch chatter in the distance,
imagining the sunsets and canals,
can almost smell the coffee shops and cannabis.
how can Amsterdam be my home
if I've yet to even visit?
because everyone belongs somewhere,
and for me..
this is it.
I live and breathe for the dream
pounding in my heart,
waiting for the day I arrive in Amsterdam
and my life can finally start.
people say you can't actually
fall in love with places,
but now I know it's not true,
nothings ever touched my heart
as softly as this veiw.
brittany nicole
fall in love with places
but I beleive that isn't true,
even though I'm not there right now,
I'm still head over heals for the veiw.
I can feel the light warm winds,
I can hear the dutch chatter in the distance,
imagining the sunsets and canals,
can almost smell the coffee shops and cannabis.
how can Amsterdam be my home
if I've yet to even visit?
because everyone belongs somewhere,
and for me..
this is it.
I live and breathe for the dream
pounding in my heart,
waiting for the day I arrive in Amsterdam
and my life can finally start.
people say you can't actually
fall in love with places,
but now I know it's not true,
nothings ever touched my heart
as softly as this veiw.
brittany nicole
hiding places
I woke up rested,
rolled out of my white feathered cocoon,
began seeing you
everywhere my eyes could fall to.
behind the sweet chai scent on my pillows.
In the corners of the tea cupboard.
between the pages of
every book I reached for.
In the seams of my levi pockets.
In the low strums of my favourite songs.
leaving your invisible footprints
all over my life.
scribbled notes..
little hiding places
for a sneaky love ghost.
a tiny apartment,
a scattered map of you.
you'd kiss me in the kitchen,
I'd find your smile in my green tea.
still picking up pieces from the
nights when all your
sharp edges would shed,
finding them all over the place
in the morning.
you don't need to find me love,
I was never hiding.
I will always be the tangled memory on
your night stand.
pillows.
sheets.
heart..
maybe one day the whispering
will quiet down.
my heart will stop mentioning you.
you had me at hello..
but I am still sweeping up our goodbye.
so love,
when you finally decide to go,
please remember to turn out the lights.
brittany nicole
rolled out of my white feathered cocoon,
began seeing you
everywhere my eyes could fall to.
behind the sweet chai scent on my pillows.
In the corners of the tea cupboard.
between the pages of
every book I reached for.
In the seams of my levi pockets.
In the low strums of my favourite songs.
leaving your invisible footprints
all over my life.
scribbled notes..
little hiding places
for a sneaky love ghost.
a tiny apartment,
a scattered map of you.
you'd kiss me in the kitchen,
I'd find your smile in my green tea.
still picking up pieces from the
nights when all your
sharp edges would shed,
finding them all over the place
in the morning.
you don't need to find me love,
I was never hiding.
I will always be the tangled memory on
your night stand.
pillows.
sheets.
heart..
maybe one day the whispering
will quiet down.
my heart will stop mentioning you.
you had me at hello..
but I am still sweeping up our goodbye.
so love,
when you finally decide to go,
please remember to turn out the lights.
brittany nicole
beach
he always knew where to find my heart,
either lost deep in the ocean or the sea,
when we bought our perfect little house,
it had to have a little beach.
drinking warm tea on the shore,
reading my books on the sand,
he always joked that I was a mermaid,
wasn't born to live on land.
staring at the sky until the sun would set,
walking with the waves until the water cooled,
there isn't anything I would change about our lives,
all I ever wanted was a beach & you.
he covered my eyes,
led me out the back door down to the beach,
kissed me on the hand and
got down on one knee.
It's a beautiful story,
sweet and romantic right from the start,
the determined man who searched at sea
and fell in love with my ocean heart.
brittany nicole
either lost deep in the ocean or the sea,
when we bought our perfect little house,
it had to have a little beach.
drinking warm tea on the shore,
reading my books on the sand,
he always joked that I was a mermaid,
wasn't born to live on land.
staring at the sky until the sun would set,
walking with the waves until the water cooled,
there isn't anything I would change about our lives,
all I ever wanted was a beach & you.
he covered my eyes,
led me out the back door down to the beach,
kissed me on the hand and
got down on one knee.
It's a beautiful story,
sweet and romantic right from the start,
the determined man who searched at sea
and fell in love with my ocean heart.
brittany nicole
bullets
what a shocking girl,
long hair and dark rouge lips.
frightening, almost.
so long, too long, went by with her looking
in the mirror not seeing how broken it was.
a sharp human,
bullet for a tongue.
a dangerous catastrophe.
late nights,
blowing smoke rings
and writing songs outta the
tick tock of the clock.
the wicked game of feeling
rises to the surface.
Google suggests counting sheep,
but she can only count all the memories
she wishes didn't exist.
such a sad story, thinking this whole time
SHE was the bullet to be dodged.
oh honey, you are a roman candle
and a Ferrari engine.
you see now that the end of a chamber has
struck your hazel eyes,
that self hate leads you straight to self heart.
love is not the act of blowing your brain to pieces.
you jump in front of bullets
for the ones you share your soul with.
remember,
you gave him endless reasons to love you.
a bullet you would've taken to the heart for him,
turned out to be worth nothing,
and he was the only one
you needed to be dodging.
brittany nicole
long hair and dark rouge lips.
frightening, almost.
so long, too long, went by with her looking
in the mirror not seeing how broken it was.
a sharp human,
bullet for a tongue.
a dangerous catastrophe.
late nights,
blowing smoke rings
and writing songs outta the
tick tock of the clock.
the wicked game of feeling
rises to the surface.
Google suggests counting sheep,
but she can only count all the memories
she wishes didn't exist.
such a sad story, thinking this whole time
SHE was the bullet to be dodged.
oh honey, you are a roman candle
and a Ferrari engine.
you see now that the end of a chamber has
struck your hazel eyes,
that self hate leads you straight to self heart.
love is not the act of blowing your brain to pieces.
you jump in front of bullets
for the ones you share your soul with.
remember,
you gave him endless reasons to love you.
a bullet you would've taken to the heart for him,
turned out to be worth nothing,
and he was the only one
you needed to be dodging.
brittany nicole
new leaf
"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good",
stuffed my books in a suitcase
and strapped it to the hood.
ready for a new life, new town, new me,
goodbye to all these empty hearts,
I'm gonna go start a new leaf.
I got a late night heart
with no vacancy,
one room left with
space for only me.
becoming that strong willed woman
I always dreamed I'd be,
the one that I was always missing..
turned out to be me.
my bones are made of life,
bright whirling flames dancing inside,
a heart of diamonds so bright,
you couldn't break me if you tried.
I'm emptying my past,
so ready to let you go,
"I will never write for you again"
- a final goodbye note.
out on the road,
ready for this brand new journey,
time to start writing a book about me,
take it page by page and title it..
"new leaf."
brittany nicole
stuffed my books in a suitcase
and strapped it to the hood.
ready for a new life, new town, new me,
goodbye to all these empty hearts,
I'm gonna go start a new leaf.
I got a late night heart
with no vacancy,
one room left with
space for only me.
becoming that strong willed woman
I always dreamed I'd be,
the one that I was always missing..
turned out to be me.
my bones are made of life,
bright whirling flames dancing inside,
a heart of diamonds so bright,
you couldn't break me if you tried.
I'm emptying my past,
so ready to let you go,
"I will never write for you again"
- a final goodbye note.
out on the road,
ready for this brand new journey,
time to start writing a book about me,
take it page by page and title it..
"new leaf."
brittany nicole
wild things
she was a girl with a heart of blazing fire.
a girl who was so unapologetically herself.
so rare.
considered a dying art.
a story so damn good,
they all try to write themselves in.
she is a beat poem
cursing at society.
a rule only meant to break.
a bad one with a retro heart.
old school girl,
converse & bleached denim.
made in the 90's.
she's lost in her own dreams..
but I think that was the plan all along.
to dance through life
in her dirty sneakers,
tasting dreams and
framing infinite's.
to live...
crushingly complete.
to write a story full of
freedom,
solitude
&
wild things.
brittany nicole
a girl who was so unapologetically herself.
so rare.
considered a dying art.
a story so damn good,
they all try to write themselves in.
she is a beat poem
cursing at society.
a rule only meant to break.
a bad one with a retro heart.
old school girl,
converse & bleached denim.
made in the 90's.
she's lost in her own dreams..
but I think that was the plan all along.
to dance through life
in her dirty sneakers,
tasting dreams and
framing infinite's.
to live...
crushingly complete.
to write a story full of
freedom,
solitude
&
wild things.
brittany nicole
poets
tell me,
who is it that really
feels the heart in it's truest form?
completely bare.
naked.
the artist?
the photographer?
or the poet?
all night, all day...
lonely hearts wrapped in literature & twine.
old films & wine.
rage & bone.
we are all artists,
more talent than we know what to do with.
more thoughts than we have room to store.
we build love,
out of stacks of paper,
beautiful books.
I want you all to know...
the world can take every little piece of you,
but there is a flame
that will never burn out.
I'm still burning.
you can take the girl out of your poem,
but you'll never take the poet out of the girl.
brittany nicole
who is it that really
feels the heart in it's truest form?
completely bare.
naked.
the artist?
the photographer?
or the poet?
all night, all day...
lonely hearts wrapped in literature & twine.
old films & wine.
rage & bone.
we are all artists,
more talent than we know what to do with.
more thoughts than we have room to store.
we build love,
out of stacks of paper,
beautiful books.
I want you all to know...
the world can take every little piece of you,
but there is a flame
that will never burn out.
I'm still burning.
you can take the girl out of your poem,
but you'll never take the poet out of the girl.
brittany nicole
sunday rain
our safe haven,
a big white bed.
dark purple sheets.
the smell of cappuccino's filling the air.
ripped Levi jeans on the bedroom floor.
Johnny Cash on vinyl.
rain on the city window.
46th floor,
too high for the world to reach.
chatter of coffee guzzling strangers in the distance.
our mix tape playing,
in bed on Sunday morning.
taking your passion out on
the type writer keys.
faded polaroids taped to the fridge.
love notes on the mirror.
tea bags all over the night stand.
a stack of our poems on your side of the bed.
a pile of books on mine.
headphones under my pillow.
old pack of Marlboro's under yours.
dry coffee rings on every surface.
your acoustic,
my voice.
my hands,
on you.
In bed
on a warm,
raining,
Sunday morning.
brittany nicole
a big white bed.
dark purple sheets.
the smell of cappuccino's filling the air.
ripped Levi jeans on the bedroom floor.
Johnny Cash on vinyl.
rain on the city window.
46th floor,
too high for the world to reach.
chatter of coffee guzzling strangers in the distance.
our mix tape playing,
in bed on Sunday morning.
taking your passion out on
the type writer keys.
faded polaroids taped to the fridge.
love notes on the mirror.
tea bags all over the night stand.
a stack of our poems on your side of the bed.
a pile of books on mine.
headphones under my pillow.
old pack of Marlboro's under yours.
dry coffee rings on every surface.
your acoustic,
my voice.
my hands,
on you.
In bed
on a warm,
raining,
Sunday morning.
brittany nicole
hero
she was a hero among man kind,
a Greek princess
born to serve and protect,
built out of brick,
a bulletproof armour,
fire burning in her eyes
around the golden green specs.
her soul contained the
power of a trillion lightening strikes,
a superhuman strength,
the undeniable power to overcome every
form of Kryptonite.
behind the indestructible bracelets,
gold tiara and shield,
is a young girl guarding her golden heart,
protecting it with her unbreakable force field.
she found justice for her bruised heart
and transformed into man kinds strongest female,
an immortal born warrior goddess,
the reckless soul of the holy grail.
after all this time
she learned to fight for herself
and all of humanity,
the lost little girl that became her own hero,
and flew away into infinity.
ϟ
brittany nicole
a Greek princess
born to serve and protect,
built out of brick,
a bulletproof armour,
fire burning in her eyes
around the golden green specs.
her soul contained the
power of a trillion lightening strikes,
a superhuman strength,
the undeniable power to overcome every
form of Kryptonite.
behind the indestructible bracelets,
gold tiara and shield,
is a young girl guarding her golden heart,
protecting it with her unbreakable force field.
she found justice for her bruised heart
and transformed into man kinds strongest female,
an immortal born warrior goddess,
the reckless soul of the holy grail.
after all this time
she learned to fight for herself
and all of humanity,
the lost little girl that became her own hero,
and flew away into infinity.
ϟ
brittany nicole
find me
take me on a voyage,
across all the planets and seas,
on the run, wanted dead or alive,
on a journey of self discovery.
I'll sleep on the beach and
cover every tropical island,
breathe in dreams like air,
wearing the ocean like a diamond.
I had a thirst,
a burning desire for foreign places,
a long forgotten escapist
that no one ever chases.
my lucky stars spelled out a story,
a collection of beautiful moments,
a slow motion serendipity
written only for lost poets.
I found my heart,
in between the compasses and grid,
I revel in how being lost
had revealed the real me
more than being found ever did.
but if you are ever in search of me,
just look at the sky & sea,
they'll draw a map for you...
the world's little secret to finding me.
brittany nicole
across all the planets and seas,
on the run, wanted dead or alive,
on a journey of self discovery.
I'll sleep on the beach and
cover every tropical island,
breathe in dreams like air,
wearing the ocean like a diamond.
I had a thirst,
a burning desire for foreign places,
a long forgotten escapist
that no one ever chases.
my lucky stars spelled out a story,
a collection of beautiful moments,
a slow motion serendipity
written only for lost poets.
I found my heart,
in between the compasses and grid,
I revel in how being lost
had revealed the real me
more than being found ever did.
but if you are ever in search of me,
just look at the sky & sea,
they'll draw a map for you...
the world's little secret to finding me.
brittany nicole
stars
"If you could be the sky
or the ocean..
which would you choose?"
well, I would like to exist some place
in between.
I wish to breathe stardust like air,
but still have room to swim for miles.
somewhere God still tucks me in at night,
and the ocean salt splashes my skin.
I wish to exist between the
blanket of clouds
and where the crabs dance along
the shoreline rocks.
to some of you,
the sky might be only just that..
a sky.
to me,
It is what my heart looks like on the inside.
twinkling pebbles
thrown across the sky..
those are the millions of stars
I see behind my eyes.
In my dreams
my home is on cloud nine,
& ten & eleven & twelve.
I am anchored to this
"in between".
a lost mermaid,
dying for a taste of galaxy.
I will spend the rest of my life
gazing in awe of the sky,
happy knowing
it's just simply..
existing.
existing for me.
brittany nicole
or the ocean..
which would you choose?"
well, I would like to exist some place
in between.
I wish to breathe stardust like air,
but still have room to swim for miles.
somewhere God still tucks me in at night,
and the ocean salt splashes my skin.
I wish to exist between the
blanket of clouds
and where the crabs dance along
the shoreline rocks.
to some of you,
the sky might be only just that..
a sky.
to me,
It is what my heart looks like on the inside.
twinkling pebbles
thrown across the sky..
those are the millions of stars
I see behind my eyes.
In my dreams
my home is on cloud nine,
& ten & eleven & twelve.
I am anchored to this
"in between".
a lost mermaid,
dying for a taste of galaxy.
I will spend the rest of my life
gazing in awe of the sky,
happy knowing
it's just simply..
existing.
existing for me.
brittany nicole
ghost
layed him down to rest,
scattered our broken love across the sky,
sat down to write the story of
how you became the "good"
in "goodbye".
a facade we acted out,
after so long we learned to fake it well,
convinced of our love for eachother,
even God himself couldn't tell.
sometimes I still roll over
and reach for you at night,
but you can't make love to a ghost
when you're still alive.
spiking my vivid imagination with your deadly plans,
asking me if it's sad to strangle yourself
with your own two hands.
we tattoo the stories we wish to
bring with us when we die,
I know on the end of my "Okay?"
he'll be answering me on the other side.
so I finally opened my eyes to everything I needed to see,
& this time,
my last 3 words to you were..
rest in peace.
brittany nicole
-closure
for august
scattered our broken love across the sky,
sat down to write the story of
how you became the "good"
in "goodbye".
a facade we acted out,
after so long we learned to fake it well,
convinced of our love for eachother,
even God himself couldn't tell.
sometimes I still roll over
and reach for you at night,
but you can't make love to a ghost
when you're still alive.
spiking my vivid imagination with your deadly plans,
asking me if it's sad to strangle yourself
with your own two hands.
we tattoo the stories we wish to
bring with us when we die,
I know on the end of my "Okay?"
he'll be answering me on the other side.
so I finally opened my eyes to everything I needed to see,
& this time,
my last 3 words to you were..
rest in peace.
brittany nicole
-closure
for august
beauty scars
a strong girl,
growing out of the cracks in the ground,
building herself up
while they're all tearing her down.
eyes always lost in a book,
a creative beautiful mess,
a girl right outta
the story about
the warrior princess.
both a masterpiece and a work in progress.
all those nights alone,
every time she refused to break,
an angel faced the road to hell,
but she'll never be afraid.
there are no rules to beauty,
she learned to love her scars,
"I am still beautiful,
these are still my arms."
straighten up little soldier,
stop tugging at your sweaters sleeves,
you are more heroic than you know,
stronger than they'll ever believe.
open up your eyes Queen,
to all the beauty in your scars,
you are everything wonder woman...
and you've made it this far.
brittany nicole
growing out of the cracks in the ground,
building herself up
while they're all tearing her down.
eyes always lost in a book,
a creative beautiful mess,
a girl right outta
the story about
the warrior princess.
both a masterpiece and a work in progress.
all those nights alone,
every time she refused to break,
an angel faced the road to hell,
but she'll never be afraid.
there are no rules to beauty,
she learned to love her scars,
"I am still beautiful,
these are still my arms."
straighten up little soldier,
stop tugging at your sweaters sleeves,
you are more heroic than you know,
stronger than they'll ever believe.
open up your eyes Queen,
to all the beauty in your scars,
you are everything wonder woman...
and you've made it this far.
brittany nicole
paper boat
remembering last September, how easily days went by, when we were together. I woke up to our song playing on the radio. I fell asleep holding a picture of you smiling. I folded your shirt and put it away, then took it out and put it on. my heart has been playing tricks on me and you are the culprit. It's killing me. I know you should be warm, wrapped up with me. not exhausted, all alone, sitting down at our old spot by the river. maybe if we had read between the lines on that one piece of paper.. crumpled and folded into a little boat.. we'd have realized then how much more important the little, simple things are. how one person can stumble into your life and fill it with millions of tiny moments that make every terrible thing that's ever happened to you.. worth it. make you so proud to look at your wrists with a fucking smile. to put your feet on the floor every morning knowing you have a damn good reason to. maybe if I'd known how important that little boat was going to be.. I never would've let it float away. beautiful simple things should be kept safe and held tight. maybe I didn't know that. not until I was all out of them. now I fold air planes and fly them into the ocean, dreaming of where we might find each other one day. I just need to find myself first love, and I promise, I will send a boat for you.
brittany nicole
brittany nicole
gonna be
wore that fake smile for too damn long,
didn't recognize the girl I saw in the mirror,
had to look deep down into my heart,
I realized that happy girl was still here.
I haven't been great,
but I can make em' think I am,
stay strong on the outside,
not like they really give a damn.
I'm not okay, but I'm gonna be,
gonna be the girl none of them could ever see,
climb outta this hell and find a place
that's right for me.
not gonna sit around hurt, waiting for the ending,
I'm gonna get out my pens & write a whole new beginning.
gonna take my love & give it to myself,
grab my own hand,
take my heart down off the shelf.
no one believed in the girl I am inside,
too bad she's real and she's
leavin' you all behind...
now she's got a different plan in mind.
brittany nicole
didn't recognize the girl I saw in the mirror,
had to look deep down into my heart,
I realized that happy girl was still here.
I haven't been great,
but I can make em' think I am,
stay strong on the outside,
not like they really give a damn.
I'm not okay, but I'm gonna be,
gonna be the girl none of them could ever see,
climb outta this hell and find a place
that's right for me.
not gonna sit around hurt, waiting for the ending,
I'm gonna get out my pens & write a whole new beginning.
gonna take my love & give it to myself,
grab my own hand,
take my heart down off the shelf.
no one believed in the girl I am inside,
too bad she's real and she's
leavin' you all behind...
now she's got a different plan in mind.
brittany nicole
city
say goodbye to that town & drive all night,
on my way to the city of lights.
busy sidewalks, car horns, blurry faces,
I revel in the way I am no longer a lost stranger.
In love with the beautiful ocean skyline,
24 hour breakfast diners
& reading the newspaper on the sky train.
hushed tones, speeding cabs & vintage shops,
how the city comes alive at night
and rain never stops.
the wonder I never found is here,
between the buildings & the sky,
dreams are falling into place,
no longer passing me by.
I've become a visible girl,
with a smile on her face,
all I had to do was get outta that town,
run away to this beautiful place.
brittany nicole
on my way to the city of lights.
busy sidewalks, car horns, blurry faces,
I revel in the way I am no longer a lost stranger.
In love with the beautiful ocean skyline,
24 hour breakfast diners
& reading the newspaper on the sky train.
hushed tones, speeding cabs & vintage shops,
how the city comes alive at night
and rain never stops.
the wonder I never found is here,
between the buildings & the sky,
dreams are falling into place,
no longer passing me by.
I've become a visible girl,
with a smile on her face,
all I had to do was get outta that town,
run away to this beautiful place.
brittany nicole
secret
a mystery with blonde hair.
she was not a paper bag
you dig your hands around in,
pulling out whatever you like.
not a pillow you can flip
for your comfort.
she is a door you knock on,
that doesn't always get answered.
a mail box that
never get's emptied.
a story...
she will never put on paper.
a girl who knew how to
kiss & not tell.
"penny for your thoughts?"
... not enough pennies in the world, love.
he told her,
"If a story is in you, it has to come out."
you will not find another book
on the shelf, like her.
the look in her eyes
spoke of a story she will never tell.
a secret,
you will never find out.
brittany nicole
she was not a paper bag
you dig your hands around in,
pulling out whatever you like.
not a pillow you can flip
for your comfort.
she is a door you knock on,
that doesn't always get answered.
a mail box that
never get's emptied.
a story...
she will never put on paper.
a girl who knew how to
kiss & not tell.
"penny for your thoughts?"
... not enough pennies in the world, love.
he told her,
"If a story is in you, it has to come out."
you will not find another book
on the shelf, like her.
the look in her eyes
spoke of a story she will never tell.
a secret,
you will never find out.
brittany nicole
/ made in 96'
she is a sweet cherry mixed with ice in a Manhattan / a warm campfire for cold hearts/
a woman of catastrophe / hell fire / confusion / danger / bad TV / painful / tangled headphones / cold breeze that's always there / red heels / scary story before bed / all the stars in the black sky / breaking book shelves / cracks in the foundation / little sadness / wonder woman cape / hundred scars / stricken / words that explain themselves / deep love / hot sex / tight hugs / warm tea / she is climbing big oak trees at 6 / backwards baseball cap / hero / tender / princess crown / screaming silence / french kissing / night swimming / fireworks / 4th of July / dry coffee rings / book marks / crumpled dollar bill / without a title / endangered species / not for me / not for you / only for her / dirty magazine / pink lips / the sign you needed / the collapse / love / lust / pixie dust / life well lived / the wings she needs to grow / to fly away / only girl / four brothers / broken home / made whole / life with stitches is okay / for sweet cherry tasting girl / from 96' brittany nicole |
caged
let her out
& give her heart back.
no life to live
will be in a cage.
born with eyes shaped like
diamonds,
a skeleton
made out of wish bones,
a solid black heart,
warm, soft as stone.
gather fallen feathers,
12:00, escape.
fly away
& fly far,
I'll meet you late
tonight, with gloves &
a crowbar.
not all angels are born
with wings,
you've built your own
by facing such sad,
dreadful things.
beautiful, strange,
winged creature
with electric DNA,
a dancing demon,
in captivity.
release you from the cage,
for the world is your sky.
In this rusty..
barred cage..
all of those humans
will die.
escape...
& fly.
BN
& give her heart back.
no life to live
will be in a cage.
born with eyes shaped like
diamonds,
a skeleton
made out of wish bones,
a solid black heart,
warm, soft as stone.
gather fallen feathers,
12:00, escape.
fly away
& fly far,
I'll meet you late
tonight, with gloves &
a crowbar.
not all angels are born
with wings,
you've built your own
by facing such sad,
dreadful things.
beautiful, strange,
winged creature
with electric DNA,
a dancing demon,
in captivity.
release you from the cage,
for the world is your sky.
In this rusty..
barred cage..
all of those humans
will die.
escape...
& fly.
BN
tie me down
things have been too quiet for too long,
I need some sparks to fly.
I have a landmine where my
heart used to be,
but boy does it feel good.
filled with potential tragedy,
a danger zone soul
with a high risk of fatal harm.
natural born disaster, girl.
trouble is the man of my dreams.
he wears all black and pours expensive
whiskey down my throat
all hours of the night.
I can feel from a mile away,
falling into something we will soon
mistake for love.
so show me what those hands are best at
and don't let me escape.
tie me down,
all the way through, up and around.
make sure not to forget the knots,
before I run back to someone
who takes all my jagged pieces
and builds himself a puzzle.
If you try 'n treat me good,
just watch me run.
gotta break me apart.
make this time around a little more fun.
tie me down.
brittany nicole
I need some sparks to fly.
I have a landmine where my
heart used to be,
but boy does it feel good.
filled with potential tragedy,
a danger zone soul
with a high risk of fatal harm.
natural born disaster, girl.
trouble is the man of my dreams.
he wears all black and pours expensive
whiskey down my throat
all hours of the night.
I can feel from a mile away,
falling into something we will soon
mistake for love.
so show me what those hands are best at
and don't let me escape.
tie me down,
all the way through, up and around.
make sure not to forget the knots,
before I run back to someone
who takes all my jagged pieces
and builds himself a puzzle.
If you try 'n treat me good,
just watch me run.
gotta break me apart.
make this time around a little more fun.
tie me down.
brittany nicole
sea through me
she wanted to be the ocean.
swim away.
she was
consumed by a wanderlust
for the sea.
the human equivalent
of an endless tidal wave.
there was a story at the
bottom of the ocean..
& she was the pen.
she found the perfect place
they'll never live to fill.
missing him came
in oh so many waves,
his voice in shells
singing songs all day.
a message,
poem in a bottle,
washed up on the sand.
shaky, light writing,
came from your hand.
"come home to me...
every night I cast a line out to sea,
searching for my dream,
hoping the waves will
bring you back to me.
your tangled blonde hair,
the salty air,
your hidden world,
show me where.
I'll hold my breath,
swim far down...
bring me there."
BN
swim away.
she was
consumed by a wanderlust
for the sea.
the human equivalent
of an endless tidal wave.
there was a story at the
bottom of the ocean..
& she was the pen.
she found the perfect place
they'll never live to fill.
missing him came
in oh so many waves,
his voice in shells
singing songs all day.
a message,
poem in a bottle,
washed up on the sand.
shaky, light writing,
came from your hand.
"come home to me...
every night I cast a line out to sea,
searching for my dream,
hoping the waves will
bring you back to me.
your tangled blonde hair,
the salty air,
your hidden world,
show me where.
I'll hold my breath,
swim far down...
bring me there."
BN
escape
"learn to fly,
fly away.."
resonated through
her pretty mind
for sixteen years.
an urge to break free.
an ache for distant places.
she thought to herself,
"maybe the moon is so beautiful,
only because it is far away".
slipped in to her black dress,
painted her lips to hide her mess.
she made an escape for the airport.
"I'm in the wrong story.."
adoring and blind,
they turned the page..
and she burned the book.
the crown only ever slipped off
and strangled her.
lifted up in flight,
on her way to the city of stars.
she was wild and loyal,
with a pool of swirling
secrets in her eyes.
the princess
is writing her own story this time.
her happily ever after.
she learned to fly...
and she flew.
BN
fly away.."
resonated through
her pretty mind
for sixteen years.
an urge to break free.
an ache for distant places.
she thought to herself,
"maybe the moon is so beautiful,
only because it is far away".
slipped in to her black dress,
painted her lips to hide her mess.
she made an escape for the airport.
"I'm in the wrong story.."
adoring and blind,
they turned the page..
and she burned the book.
the crown only ever slipped off
and strangled her.
lifted up in flight,
on her way to the city of stars.
she was wild and loyal,
with a pool of swirling
secrets in her eyes.
the princess
is writing her own story this time.
her happily ever after.
she learned to fly...
and she flew.
BN
poet
she'd reached a point in her life.
whatever came to mind..
she wrote it down.
trying to write a book
that has water proof pages
and a drain for all the
future heart break to swirl down.
a thick, strong paperback that let's her
broken heart seep through to the end.
a mirror..
for the ones like you,
like me.
the ones who look around for answers,
never knowing they are only held
in the depths of our mirrors.
I will be that mirror,
for you.
the fiery poetry we all have inside of us..
after kicking through the empty wine bottles
and emotion stained pillows,
it's all we're left with..
agony.
this is my advice to you;
when things get empty,
when that ache in your soul
can't be lulled to sleep,
when you find yourself holding hands
with people who are no longer there,
when poetry is the only one left...
write it down.
BN
whatever came to mind..
she wrote it down.
trying to write a book
that has water proof pages
and a drain for all the
future heart break to swirl down.
a thick, strong paperback that let's her
broken heart seep through to the end.
a mirror..
for the ones like you,
like me.
the ones who look around for answers,
never knowing they are only held
in the depths of our mirrors.
I will be that mirror,
for you.
the fiery poetry we all have inside of us..
after kicking through the empty wine bottles
and emotion stained pillows,
it's all we're left with..
agony.
this is my advice to you;
when things get empty,
when that ache in your soul
can't be lulled to sleep,
when you find yourself holding hands
with people who are no longer there,
when poetry is the only one left...
write it down.
BN
paint me
paint me.
body, heart & all.
lay me down & spell me out.
wind me up & let me spin.
take me on the floor,
paint me more.
paint me dark,
under the covers.
paint me loud,
in screaming color.
I am not the blank canvas you need..
it's time for something different.
I will be the electrifying purple,
orange, yellow,
dripping from your palette.
a human sunset,
just for you.
in a world of vibrant colors,
I feel so.. beige.
show me I'm something else,
not just another beauty myth.
this master piece may not be for everyone,
I am not to be made sense of.
good art is to shake the soul,
stomp on the ground and
demand a reaction.
that's where you come in.
sleepy night owl,
all your paint splattered shirts
and empty coffee cups will pay off.
I will take you places.
all my painted curves & broken smiles,
souled out.
I will always be here to inspire the artist in you.
till death do we
'art.
brittany nicole
body, heart & all.
lay me down & spell me out.
wind me up & let me spin.
take me on the floor,
paint me more.
paint me dark,
under the covers.
paint me loud,
in screaming color.
I am not the blank canvas you need..
it's time for something different.
I will be the electrifying purple,
orange, yellow,
dripping from your palette.
a human sunset,
just for you.
in a world of vibrant colors,
I feel so.. beige.
show me I'm something else,
not just another beauty myth.
this master piece may not be for everyone,
I am not to be made sense of.
good art is to shake the soul,
stomp on the ground and
demand a reaction.
that's where you come in.
sleepy night owl,
all your paint splattered shirts
and empty coffee cups will pay off.
I will take you places.
all my painted curves & broken smiles,
souled out.
I will always be here to inspire the artist in you.
till death do we
'art.
brittany nicole
12:02
4 missed calls at 11:48. In 11 minutes it will be a different day.. with the same heart ache. the same blankets. same loneliness on the pillows. these months have changed me. I've lost myself in waiting for you. I never did master in the art of longing for you.. for anything. I should have made you promise me no more promises. I'm still up late trying to write you. then re-write you and write you again. you are the one poem I cannot perfect. trying so hard to finish it.. I just flinch at writing an ending without me in it. I'd write about my heart being used as a hotel bed, knowing you would check out before noon. leaving behind the scent of our hate sex and pillow thoughts. maybe I shouldn't have left a key for you this time. I still crave you. every inch. you just weren't brave enough to love me. & that's okay. you managed to turn the better parts of me against each other. a war between the heart & mind. I never knew who was going to win. I wonder who will win tonight..
you are always touching me.. even when we aren't in the same place. now it's the tight grip of your absence around my throat. I wait up till 12:02 on nights like tonight to see if you'll get drunk enough to miss me.. then miss me enough to call. thinking of your voice every day, legs shaking, looking forward to that cellphone ring, just to see your name across the screen right before 12:00, & suddenly forget how to speak. the war I will have in my body for the rest of my life. I want you to know it's okay to forget me. I forget me. you became the lead role in the film of saving my life. it's been all about you, ever since. how in love we were at seventeen. you, in your red t-shirt, my dusty converse folded on your lap, sitting in the sand. you slipped my jean jacket off my shoulder & promised me an unforgettable summer. & I never looked back. I wish the man I fell in love with that summer was pushing me into the sheets tonight, thrusting the loneliness out of my fed up soul. your arms will always be the bed for my slumber.. it's 12:02.. but tonight I'm sleeping all alone.
BRITTANY NICOLE
you are always touching me.. even when we aren't in the same place. now it's the tight grip of your absence around my throat. I wait up till 12:02 on nights like tonight to see if you'll get drunk enough to miss me.. then miss me enough to call. thinking of your voice every day, legs shaking, looking forward to that cellphone ring, just to see your name across the screen right before 12:00, & suddenly forget how to speak. the war I will have in my body for the rest of my life. I want you to know it's okay to forget me. I forget me. you became the lead role in the film of saving my life. it's been all about you, ever since. how in love we were at seventeen. you, in your red t-shirt, my dusty converse folded on your lap, sitting in the sand. you slipped my jean jacket off my shoulder & promised me an unforgettable summer. & I never looked back. I wish the man I fell in love with that summer was pushing me into the sheets tonight, thrusting the loneliness out of my fed up soul. your arms will always be the bed for my slumber.. it's 12:02.. but tonight I'm sleeping all alone.
BRITTANY NICOLE
girl almighty
Fight Girls,
I'm comin' to your rescue.
I'm gonna be your mirror,
take you in the ring,
show you this is not the life for you.
we are women..
all built to last.
all this girl power,
I'm gonna teach you how
to fight for yourselves.
isn't that what super heroes do?
nerve,
back bone,
temper,
we are the heat
of a thousand flames.
wipe the black off your eyes,
put power red on those lips.
your bravery is the
sexiest thing you can wear.
wear it like a cape.
your strength is
your weapon,
& it's in good hands.
this world gets heavy,
all those empty souls with feet.
we're gonna take it back.
meet these heartless chests
& judgmental eyes
in the ring,
lace up our gloves,
show them what survival looks like.
just how sexy
we make it look.
beautiful,
unstoppable ladies,
I look at you and I see me..
a broken girl turned hero,
they call
Girl Almighty.
★
BRITTANY NICOLE
I'm comin' to your rescue.
I'm gonna be your mirror,
take you in the ring,
show you this is not the life for you.
we are women..
all built to last.
all this girl power,
I'm gonna teach you how
to fight for yourselves.
isn't that what super heroes do?
nerve,
back bone,
temper,
we are the heat
of a thousand flames.
wipe the black off your eyes,
put power red on those lips.
your bravery is the
sexiest thing you can wear.
wear it like a cape.
your strength is
your weapon,
& it's in good hands.
this world gets heavy,
all those empty souls with feet.
we're gonna take it back.
meet these heartless chests
& judgmental eyes
in the ring,
lace up our gloves,
show them what survival looks like.
just how sexy
we make it look.
beautiful,
unstoppable ladies,
I look at you and I see me..
a broken girl turned hero,
they call
Girl Almighty.
★
BRITTANY NICOLE
mask
It's almost midnight,
tin girl, slow dancing by yourself.
run home before you turn back into
that old pumpkin.
go home to yourself,
meet her in front of the mirror.
hurry home before the
mask falls off.
dump out your eyes,
let all the ache fall to the floor.
lay in bed with your beautiful heart,
tuck in all it's broken parts.
just sleep tonight,
no more practicing that smile,
you haven't been using it.
you can't edit your heart,
Cinderella.
you forget who you are
underneath that mask,
don't you?
remember who you were,
before he told you who to be.
take off the mask.
take off the dress.
bare that troubled soul.
wear it naked.
(1)_new message from
prince charming.
go to sleep,
princess.
you are your own knight.
sleep comfortably,
without the mask
tonight.
BRITTANY NICOLE
tin girl, slow dancing by yourself.
run home before you turn back into
that old pumpkin.
go home to yourself,
meet her in front of the mirror.
hurry home before the
mask falls off.
dump out your eyes,
let all the ache fall to the floor.
lay in bed with your beautiful heart,
tuck in all it's broken parts.
just sleep tonight,
no more practicing that smile,
you haven't been using it.
you can't edit your heart,
Cinderella.
you forget who you are
underneath that mask,
don't you?
remember who you were,
before he told you who to be.
take off the mask.
take off the dress.
bare that troubled soul.
wear it naked.
(1)_new message from
prince charming.
go to sleep,
princess.
you are your own knight.
sleep comfortably,
without the mask
tonight.
BRITTANY NICOLE
runaway
"what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"
oh, just looking for a taste of real life.
followed the sparkling lights,
caught a few flights.
where to?
destination beautiful.
the bravest thing I ever did was run.
my soul had grown far too old
for the town it lived in.
it is so unbearable being a chalk board of poetry
when the world is still learning
how to sing the alphabet.
Invisibility was not my super power of choice,
but that town made me their hero.
"I'm outta here."
-a goodbye note.
I've got the world to go..
while the earth rotates,
I'll sip my wine,
lose my mind,
& go find my soul.
so long, paper town.
I belong to no one, no where,
but myself.
I will carry my heart
in my backpack,
& collect my diamond bones
along the way.
all the good girls will go
to Heaven, but me..
I will go everywhere.
I will rest my head on the clouds
tonight.
steep my dreams into the sky.
just the world,
& I.
brittany nicole
oh, just looking for a taste of real life.
followed the sparkling lights,
caught a few flights.
where to?
destination beautiful.
the bravest thing I ever did was run.
my soul had grown far too old
for the town it lived in.
it is so unbearable being a chalk board of poetry
when the world is still learning
how to sing the alphabet.
Invisibility was not my super power of choice,
but that town made me their hero.
"I'm outta here."
-a goodbye note.
I've got the world to go..
while the earth rotates,
I'll sip my wine,
lose my mind,
& go find my soul.
so long, paper town.
I belong to no one, no where,
but myself.
I will carry my heart
in my backpack,
& collect my diamond bones
along the way.
all the good girls will go
to Heaven, but me..
I will go everywhere.
I will rest my head on the clouds
tonight.
steep my dreams into the sky.
just the world,
& I.
brittany nicole
beauty undefined
tell me the story.
not that one..
the one on your body.
the silhouette you've
painted on your hips.
lips.
curves.
wings.
tell me all the
ways you steal breath
from a glass mirror.
the rips in your clothes,
secret quotes hidden
all over your body.
that's the story I'd like to read.
you are the poem.
the art.
the sex.
the drugs.
ripped jeans and dirty converse.
cinnamon.
devil in a tight dress.
a second-hand halo.
a poison filled tea cup.
a soft girl
dragged through hell.
shake all the secrets
off your shoulders,
it's so much easier
to dance without them.
baby girl,
come tell me the story.
I'll sit in front of the
mirror with you,
feel your hips, lips.
comb your wings
and read to you;
"you are
simply..
undefined.
you are
beauty."
brittany nicole
not that one..
the one on your body.
the silhouette you've
painted on your hips.
lips.
curves.
wings.
tell me all the
ways you steal breath
from a glass mirror.
the rips in your clothes,
secret quotes hidden
all over your body.
that's the story I'd like to read.
you are the poem.
the art.
the sex.
the drugs.
ripped jeans and dirty converse.
cinnamon.
devil in a tight dress.
a second-hand halo.
a poison filled tea cup.
a soft girl
dragged through hell.
shake all the secrets
off your shoulders,
it's so much easier
to dance without them.
baby girl,
come tell me the story.
I'll sit in front of the
mirror with you,
feel your hips, lips.
comb your wings
and read to you;
"you are
simply..
undefined.
you are
beauty."
brittany nicole
a poem for
this is not a love story.
this is not happily ever after.
this is not the sweet note on your textbook.
this is for all the beautiful faces rolling
over to nothing but a void.
for all the kindest of hearts
who never drown in endless affection.
for all the teenage girls who have collected
more mascara stained pillow cases
than love letters.
for the good hearted men who
have come home to a note & an empty closet.
this is the poem for all the romantics
at 1 am pouring themselves another glass of wine.
for the poets, the writers, the story tellers,
all bearing something untold.
for the insomniacs with no one to
rock them to sleep.
for the alcoholics, the tortured artists,
the breath taking musicians.
for the ones who never quite made it.
for me.
for you.
may all your minds rest easy.
you are not alone..
not tonight.
brittany nicole
this is not happily ever after.
this is not the sweet note on your textbook.
this is for all the beautiful faces rolling
over to nothing but a void.
for all the kindest of hearts
who never drown in endless affection.
for all the teenage girls who have collected
more mascara stained pillow cases
than love letters.
for the good hearted men who
have come home to a note & an empty closet.
this is the poem for all the romantics
at 1 am pouring themselves another glass of wine.
for the poets, the writers, the story tellers,
all bearing something untold.
for the insomniacs with no one to
rock them to sleep.
for the alcoholics, the tortured artists,
the breath taking musicians.
for the ones who never quite made it.
for me.
for you.
may all your minds rest easy.
you are not alone..
not tonight.
brittany nicole
12:01
missed call at 11:59. In one minute it'll be a different day.. will I crave you any less in the morning? been thinking about you here messing up my bed with me so long my minds shaking. I miss you in a way I didn't know was possible. you are like scorching hot tea steeping quickly into my thoughts. you are every poem I am up so late trying to write. It is so hard for my body not to shiver at the very thought of not having you tonight. I just want to be grabbed. have my body pinned down to these sweet lavender sheets.. be entirely tangled in you. to hear our naked backs whisper the story no book has the spine to hold. the kind of intimacy that begins in one room and ends on the sweating floor in another. you are always touching me.. even when we aren't in the same place. I wait up until 11:59 on nights you're gone, to hear that deep voice tell me something sweet to get me through the night. the words you speak melt in my hands. you are pure, heavy breathing, grunting poetry.. breathe into me. let me lick the words off your lips and write you a poem with my tongue. I'll trick your mind and play with your thoughts. fold you like a house of cards. my sweet, sweet game. baby, your arms are the bed for my slumber..It's 12:01.. and I am ready to lay down.
BRITTANY NICOLE
BRITTANY NICOLE
bad
black silk dress down to the floor,
red lipstick sharp as ice,
told me "dress up for dinner & behave"
but he knows I don't play nice.
the way I pull you in,
boss you around and tell you what to do,
fuck you hard with my eyes,
the only thing I don't wanna take off you.
they say the good die young
so I wanna be bad,
wrap your tie around my neck,
be the baddest you've ever had.
make your chest my canvas,
my deep red lips the art,
take your body & rob you blind,
steal your breath till I stop your heart.
can't hustle the hustler baby,
so never let a bad girl into your bed,
she'll carve the innocence outta your heart
and leave you on the floor,
for dead.
brittany nicole
red lipstick sharp as ice,
told me "dress up for dinner & behave"
but he knows I don't play nice.
the way I pull you in,
boss you around and tell you what to do,
fuck you hard with my eyes,
the only thing I don't wanna take off you.
they say the good die young
so I wanna be bad,
wrap your tie around my neck,
be the baddest you've ever had.
make your chest my canvas,
my deep red lips the art,
take your body & rob you blind,
steal your breath till I stop your heart.
can't hustle the hustler baby,
so never let a bad girl into your bed,
she'll carve the innocence outta your heart
and leave you on the floor,
for dead.
brittany nicole
peaceful thunder
I sleep with these crumpled
pages beneath my pillow.
I need these words I crave
under my resting, ticking
mind. for my inner thoughts
to steep like hot tea
in between the lines
of the pages and become one.
all I can hope for anymore
is a mind that sleeps peacefully
but rises sounding like thunder.
BRITTANY NICOLE
pages beneath my pillow.
I need these words I crave
under my resting, ticking
mind. for my inner thoughts
to steep like hot tea
in between the lines
of the pages and become one.
all I can hope for anymore
is a mind that sleeps peacefully
but rises sounding like thunder.
BRITTANY NICOLE
sleepless planet
those late nights are so deafening,
waiting for you to come home
while I'm in bed listening,
the raindrops are falling &
all I feel is something missing.
last time we spoke,
promised you'd come home soon,
sing me to sleep every night
while the sheep dance around the moon.
stargazing all night before it hits dark,
feeling I should disappear & just go,
wondering why I'm so hard to love,
guess I'm that touch & go kinda soul.
getting high off the smoke
falling from the roof,
waiting & waiting, holding my phone tight,
naked body in this deep sea of blankets,
staying up getting heart baked all night.
blow a kiss to God,
say goodnight to the sky,
hope to fall asleep to the sweet thought of you & I.
maybe as long as we're sharing the
same blanket of stars,
I'll never sleep alone on this
quiet planet of ours.
★
BRITTANY NICOLE
waiting for you to come home
while I'm in bed listening,
the raindrops are falling &
all I feel is something missing.
last time we spoke,
promised you'd come home soon,
sing me to sleep every night
while the sheep dance around the moon.
stargazing all night before it hits dark,
feeling I should disappear & just go,
wondering why I'm so hard to love,
guess I'm that touch & go kinda soul.
getting high off the smoke
falling from the roof,
waiting & waiting, holding my phone tight,
naked body in this deep sea of blankets,
staying up getting heart baked all night.
blow a kiss to God,
say goodnight to the sky,
hope to fall asleep to the sweet thought of you & I.
maybe as long as we're sharing the
same blanket of stars,
I'll never sleep alone on this
quiet planet of ours.
★
BRITTANY NICOLE
vacancy
love makes you do wild things.
but I am wild all on my own.
I just want to feel..
& feel & feel.
and yet, I never take anything with me.
I haven't learned a thing about love.
this is a heart that sleeps entirely alone.
no regret.
no remorse.
just,
messed up.
messed up.
messed up.
if you think you're cold,
it's because you're cold.
there is no beauty or romance
in feeling nothing.
emotions make you do wild things,
but I do not wish to be wild on my own.
I want my wrists pinned down by
the very reason I get out of,
& into
bed.
I want that reason to be you.
I'm sorry it is so goddamn hard to
love a girl like me,
God bless your soul for trying.
why would anyone be born
with a heart shaped like
the knife that stabs you in the back?
"you must be brave.."
I tell him.
to look at me as anything
other than exactly what I am.
I know I'm not the kind to make it very long.
just far enough to see that beautiful city,
take that one important photo.
I guess in the end, that's the stuff
that matters.
know that till then,
this side of my sheets will be vacant
for you.
for you to come make me wild with you...
& not all on my own.
BRITTANY NICOLE
but I am wild all on my own.
I just want to feel..
& feel & feel.
and yet, I never take anything with me.
I haven't learned a thing about love.
this is a heart that sleeps entirely alone.
no regret.
no remorse.
just,
messed up.
messed up.
messed up.
if you think you're cold,
it's because you're cold.
there is no beauty or romance
in feeling nothing.
emotions make you do wild things,
but I do not wish to be wild on my own.
I want my wrists pinned down by
the very reason I get out of,
& into
bed.
I want that reason to be you.
I'm sorry it is so goddamn hard to
love a girl like me,
God bless your soul for trying.
why would anyone be born
with a heart shaped like
the knife that stabs you in the back?
"you must be brave.."
I tell him.
to look at me as anything
other than exactly what I am.
I know I'm not the kind to make it very long.
just far enough to see that beautiful city,
take that one important photo.
I guess in the end, that's the stuff
that matters.
know that till then,
this side of my sheets will be vacant
for you.
for you to come make me wild with you...
& not all on my own.
BRITTANY NICOLE
for the tea drinker & the pipe smoker
Dear Nana,
I wake up and drink my chamomile tea,
I read The Fault In Our Stars
& picture you sitting across from me.
I collect our old photos & go sit at our favorite diner,
I think about Pop,
how I miss that old timer.
His letters to you could melt even the coldest heart,
& not seeing your face while reading them
is the saddest part.
I write to you as I sit at your grave alone,
my notebooks pages filling up,
my tears falling to your stone.
I hope you can still hear my voice in Heaven,
I know we haven't talked in a while,
but lately this is the quietest place
I've been in.
If Heaven had visiting hours,
I'd come see you every single day,
cry in your lap while you tell me
"everything will be okay."
I trust you Nana & Pop, that you know God's plan,
that I won't always be so lost,
I'll learn to hold my own hand.
I'll meet you at the diner at 3 o'clock every day,
& remind myself your beautiful memory
is always here to stay.
To Stanley & Sally
Brittany Nicole
I wake up and drink my chamomile tea,
I read The Fault In Our Stars
& picture you sitting across from me.
I collect our old photos & go sit at our favorite diner,
I think about Pop,
how I miss that old timer.
His letters to you could melt even the coldest heart,
& not seeing your face while reading them
is the saddest part.
I write to you as I sit at your grave alone,
my notebooks pages filling up,
my tears falling to your stone.
I hope you can still hear my voice in Heaven,
I know we haven't talked in a while,
but lately this is the quietest place
I've been in.
If Heaven had visiting hours,
I'd come see you every single day,
cry in your lap while you tell me
"everything will be okay."
I trust you Nana & Pop, that you know God's plan,
that I won't always be so lost,
I'll learn to hold my own hand.
I'll meet you at the diner at 3 o'clock every day,
& remind myself your beautiful memory
is always here to stay.
To Stanley & Sally
Brittany Nicole
ashes
ripping through your letters,
crying into your last notes,
burning through the pages,
kissing the ashes that float.
falling through the air,
shattering all over the ground,
water running down my face,
not making a single sound.
smoking pile on the floor,
black running off my eyelashes,
heart slowly cracking in two,
as I watch the growing pile of ashes.
becoming haunted by all the words,
the stories the letters hid,
so strange how the ashes made me feel..
warmer than their words ever did.
brittany nicole
crying into your last notes,
burning through the pages,
kissing the ashes that float.
falling through the air,
shattering all over the ground,
water running down my face,
not making a single sound.
smoking pile on the floor,
black running off my eyelashes,
heart slowly cracking in two,
as I watch the growing pile of ashes.
becoming haunted by all the words,
the stories the letters hid,
so strange how the ashes made me feel..
warmer than their words ever did.
brittany nicole
locked & loaded
they tell me I'm confused,
tell me I'm sick,
but it's not my fault,
whatever makes me tick.
I just gave up,
done dealing with the crap,
I was pissed at the world,
something inside snapped.
I used to trust easily,
believed everything I heard,
but I was so young,
so misunderstood.
I knew better to stay away,
but one night I let someone in,
I forgot about what happened when I was little,
I won't make that mistake again.
he held me as I fell asleep in my bed,
he kissed me on my neck,
and shot me in the head.
now I sleep alone,
always remember to lock the door,
I don't need anyone but myself,
not anymore.
brittany nicole
tell me I'm sick,
but it's not my fault,
whatever makes me tick.
I just gave up,
done dealing with the crap,
I was pissed at the world,
something inside snapped.
I used to trust easily,
believed everything I heard,
but I was so young,
so misunderstood.
I knew better to stay away,
but one night I let someone in,
I forgot about what happened when I was little,
I won't make that mistake again.
he held me as I fell asleep in my bed,
he kissed me on my neck,
and shot me in the head.
now I sleep alone,
always remember to lock the door,
I don't need anyone but myself,
not anymore.
brittany nicole
lonely for you only
I'm feeling so lonesome.
wondering why you're taking so long, love.
I've been so broken.
replaying this song over & over.
I don't wanna be alone,
just want you to throw me down,
cover every part of me.
and just.. not go.
playing me in your head at night
while falling asleep next to her..
tell me, how does that feel?
I cannot keep running my fingers through my own hair,
praying stale wine will fill me inside
the way I'm dying for you to.
baby, all you've taught me
is that I can cover my entire body
with my own hands
& empty enough bottles to forget
I am spending yet another night alone,
waiting for something,
anything, to fill this empty void.
I could be the one for you,
this waiting is gonna make me a monster though.
I hope she is holding you
tight enough to keep
that shallow heart of yours
in one piece.
BRITTANY NICOLE
wondering why you're taking so long, love.
I've been so broken.
replaying this song over & over.
I don't wanna be alone,
just want you to throw me down,
cover every part of me.
and just.. not go.
playing me in your head at night
while falling asleep next to her..
tell me, how does that feel?
I cannot keep running my fingers through my own hair,
praying stale wine will fill me inside
the way I'm dying for you to.
baby, all you've taught me
is that I can cover my entire body
with my own hands
& empty enough bottles to forget
I am spending yet another night alone,
waiting for something,
anything, to fill this empty void.
I could be the one for you,
this waiting is gonna make me a monster though.
I hope she is holding you
tight enough to keep
that shallow heart of yours
in one piece.
BRITTANY NICOLE
ten letters
I always had my way with words. I alw... used to .. have a way with him. his name though. I still get lost in how there is a letter in his name for each of my fingers. oh, how I'd forget to be apart of the conversation. I'd be tapping my thigh with each finger, feeling my heart reminisce with each letter tapped. counting to ten. who knew. so simple. yet, something I always find myself doing. my body will never forget your name. tapping my thigh never felt so good.
brittany nicole
-your name is all I have left of you.
brittany nicole
-your name is all I have left of you.
sky

the way I felt looked a lot like the sky at night. each of my little thoughts were stitched together like a constellation that was never meant to exist. there is so much more to life than just... being. & that, itself, is perhaps the hardest thing to know. if God's creation in me could have been anything else, I would have wanted to be the sky. to be a never ending, dark, and then bright, blanket of stars hugging the universe. there may never be a more beautiful way to exist on this planet, but God, if there is, I intend to find it.
Brittany Nicole
-I wanted to be the sky
you & I
I'LL POUR A CUP OF TEA AND ATTEMPT TO SKETCH THE SKY, I'LL SIT UNDER THE STARS THINKING ABOUT YOU & I, BUNDLED IN YOUR SWEATER EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT MY SIZE. I'LL POINT MY COMPASS UP TOWARDS HEAVEN AND I'LL KNOW WHERE YOU ARE BY THE DIRECTION IT GOES IN. I KNOW SHOOTING STARS CANNOT FIX THE WORLD BUT THEY MIGHT CHANGE MY HEART AND I KNOW IT NEEDS A LOT OF WORK BUT IT'S A FINE START. AND I'LL NEED LOTS OF PILLOWS SO THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO HOLD CLOSE, IF I CAN'T HAVE A HAPPY SOUL AT LEAST I'LL HAVE A COMFY GHOST. I MAY HAVE HAD A BIT TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT, WHEN I WOKE, FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WOULD BE ALRIGHT. THEN I REMEMBERED THAT EVERY LITTLE THING WAS WRONG, BUT THAT GOD HAS A PROMISE FOR THE ONES WHO HOLD ON. I STILL HAVE THAT BOX OF LETTERS UNDERNEATH MY BED, ALL THE "SORRY'S" & "I MISS YOU'S" THAT YOU'VE NEVER READ AND ON NIGHTS LIKE THESE ALL THOSE THOUGHTS GO TO MY HEAD, SO IF YOU THINK OF ME TONIGHT I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU IN MY BED.
BRITTANY NICOLE
BRITTANY NICOLE
this place
Lately I've been awake, been wandering around, trying to make a home out of this noisy town. I can't seem to sleep, these past few nights, I lay awake and listen to the cars and city lights. I miss my hometown, my room and my friends, but like most things, that life came to an end. I know one day I'll find a place where I fit in, where the nightmares end and dreams begin. I'll have that little apartment, with a big bed and you, we'll sip tea and plan the day we say "I do". I'll have nothing but birds and smiles to chase, and when I stop to look in the mirror, I'll whisper "I belong in this place".
Brittany Nicole
published in 2014 poetry anthology "Serenity"
Brittany Nicole
published in 2014 poetry anthology "Serenity"
amsterdam
Been stuck in this little town a long time, no one thought I'd ever leave, but I'd finally found the courage to try and live this life for me. There was only one I couldn't leave without, the one who had my heart, my story's main event, the most important part. He told me to chase my dreams, to live my life freely, and when he finds himself, he promised to come find me. So I'm gonna run wide, finally begin living my dreams, when they ask "where ya movin?" I'll tell em "onto better things." Spend my morning on a bench sipping tea, my day off at the beach enjoying the breeze, my afternoon in bed reading The Fault In Our Stars, and my Saturday night out dancing at the bars. Then one day, I'll be walking down the cold Amsterdam street, I'll look into a little coffee shop and our eyes will finally meet. We'll get married downtown in Vondelpark, buy a little white house and our lives will finally start. We'll tell our kids wild stories all about you and me, and about just how important it is that you always... follow your dreams.
Brittany Nicole
published in 2016 poetry anthology "Heart of Solstice"
Brittany Nicole
published in 2016 poetry anthology "Heart of Solstice"